Enlightened Leadership Blog | Your Success is a Mirror and Not Everyone Likes the Reflection | July 2025
This month’s blog explores an aspect of leadership and life we don’t talk about openly because it can be considered too personal, negative, or irrelevant: Your success can make others uncomfortable.
People will cheer for you right until you start pulling ahead like a determined racehorse with a heart that feels the win before it even happens. You are the strong, well-trained horse they overlooked. You are the horse they would rather see confined in a barn than running with pure determination in its eyes. You are the horse they did not expect to secure the win. They did not bet on you.
You achieve your victory.
Then, things change. And you feel it. You see it.
The ones you expect to experience discomfort watching you succeed, like competitors, are no surprise. Colleagues can be a mixed bag depending on personalities. But, others who you would expect to support you, such as certain friends, family, and connections can be quite interesting.
At first, things can get quiet. Next, you start observing a mixture of absence, silence, and awkwardness. Does any of this feel familiar?
They don’t ask about what’s going on with you.
They don’t congratulate you.
They ask you how you’re doing and then cut you off during your response (or the look on their face says it all).
The jerky ones make backhanded comments.
Some do nothing, zilch, to support you with whatever you’re doing.
And at first, it stings. You are surprised, disappointed, and frustrated. You supported them by buying services from their businesses; purchasing products you didn’t even really want or need; going to events with time you didn’t really have to spare; and donating to their causes. The list goes on.
Naturally, you ask yourself why the ones you boosted don’t support you. Once you remove the veil of, they’re “busy” (as if you’re not) or they have their own stuff going on (yes, you do too), you realize it’s simple, and as clear as a bright blue cloudless sky:
Your success is a mirror and not everyone likes the reflection. Your wins trigger their insecurity.
Some friends are uncomfortable because they like the more stressed, less strong and successful version of you. Certain family members see everything as a competition, so they can’t deal with themselves, let alone you. Some colleagues feel threatened by someone outpacing them. They all liked you more when you were more like them. Now you are set apart and they don’t know what to do or think.
So, what do you do about all this?
As I say in Align Your Business with the Real You, “Recognize when something doesn’t feel right. If something doesn’t feel right, it doesn’t mean you are lost or failing. It simply means something feels off-kilter. If so, you are normal, and you’re not alone. You also don’t know what to do about it immediately.”
Growth causes change. Growth and change stir things up so you can see things from a new perspective.
The ones who love and support you through your highs and lows, your wins and losses, and your shadows and your light will stand by every second of every version of the real you. They love and support you without any doubt. They are your true supporters.
As for the rest whose behavior you find unattractive, the headline is this: None of it matters.
The ones who choose silent avoidance? Observe and move forward. The ones who make backhanded comments or slights? Who cares. When possible, remove yourself from their orbit. The ones who make it obvious they don’t care (or pretend not to care) about your successes in work and life? Limit your time around them. And anyone in your inner circle who isn’t supporting you really isn’t inner circle material.
These are distractions that will drain your energy and dim your light. It all sorts out over time.
The growth and change to focus on now is yours.
So, ask yourself:
How do I feel?
What do I want?
Where am I heading next?
How will I make it happen?
Success is whatever it means to you. As I say in my book, “There is a path forward to define your success.” Personal and professional growth can lead to new roads where new people, places, and things are different in a good way. Whatever comes next for you starts with you.
Remember, the most important person to root for you is YOU. Keep shining. Keep winning. Keep rising.
Image Photo Credit: Vecteezy
See more and order Align Your Business with the Real You Here The Book – JLM & Associates Consulting and Align Your Business with the Real You: Connect with Yourself, Create What Matters Most, and Define Your Success by Jennifer Musser | Barnes & Noble®Get more insights to boost your business right now. Sign Up Here to Join Our Community